A Dog’s Tale

A buddy of mine and I connect a couple times a year, just to catch up on each other's lives. This one time we met up to have lunch at one of my favorite little restaurants near where I used to live. 

We were having lunch in the corner of the restaurant, next to a window overlooking the street. And all of a sudden, a waitress bursts through the doors yelling "Call the police, call the police, call the police!"  And then she ran back outside. 

I could only see a bit of the ruckus from my vantage point, but my buddy was right next to the window and could see it all. So I asked him what was going on? 

He said, "Dan, it's terrible. There was this man sitting outside with his dog, and this homeless person walked up to him, steals the dog and starts running down the street. The guy took off after them and apparently beat him up because he was bleeding when came back to the table with his dog.” He continued; "If somebody did that to my dog, I would definitely do the same thing!"

So, we continued with our meal as the police and ambulance came to take care of everyone involved. The waitress, who's a good friend of mine, came back in and walked over to our table. I asked her… So, what happened? 

She said; "Dan, it was terrible. I was out there taking my customer's order for lunch, and this homeless guy walks up and he spits all over my customer. My customer couldn't believe it!  After a few seconds of disbelief, he got up and ran off after the guy, and kicked the crap out of him." She continued; "I'd probably do the same thing. Man, that was just uncalled for." 

So of course I ask the obvious question: "Well, what about the dog? What was going on with the dog?" She said, looking a bit puzzled, "Well, nothing. The dog was just there and was excited by the whole thing and ran out after the homeless guy as well." 

So, was my friend lying? Is my friend stupid? He told an entirely different tale, didn't he? 

Humans Live in Separate and Unique Realities

We do not experience our world directly. We experience an external event via our senses. What we see (Visual), hear (Auditory), feel (kinesthetic), what we smell (Olfactory), and what we taste (gustatory), are simply our eyes, ears, etc., receiving information and then converting it into electrical data. That data is then transmitted to our brain via neuro-pathways, where it is processed. 

We take in between 2 - 4 million bits of information per second via our sensor. The cognitive part of our brain can only process 134 bits per second. In addition, we can only process this data in bundles of 7 +/- 2. This means that we can only deal with between 5 - 9 packets of data at a time. That is why credit card numbers, for example, are presented in groups of 3 - 4 digits at a time.

So how is it that we humans receive 2 - 4 million bits of information per second… yet can only deal with 134 bits? Our brains perform a pre-filtering function whereby it Deletes, Distorts and Generalizes the data being sensed from that external event prior to it being processed by our the cognitive part of our brain. 

That data then gets further filtered and personalized by the language we use to describe the event, space/time, our memories, decisions, values, beliefs, meta programs and attitudes.

The data, now highly filtered, forms an Internal Representation of that external event. Not only is it highly diluted, distorted, and generalized, it is highly personalized due to it being washed through OUR unique set of filters… our own personal history.

“We see the world as WE are ... not as IT is.  Because it is the I behind the eye that does the seeing.” — Anais Nin

Everyone Has a Different Internal Representation

What we individually delete, distort and generalize… then wash through our unique set of filters, creates an internal representation that is unique to us, for a given situation. We falsely believe that we are watching the same movie as our peers… we discuss/argue the “facts”… when all the while we are perceiving different movies. Nothing means anything except the meaning we give it!

So then… let’s revisit the Dog’s Tale

My friend had essentially the same information that the waitress had, except he had a different IR … Internal Representation … a RE-PRESENTATION of that external experience.

Did I tell you that my friend runs a sanctuary for wolves and wolf-dogs, and has a deep affinity for animals and their protection… and is of course, adamantly opposed to animal cruelty?

So, he was pre-disposed to see what he wanted to see, hear what he wanted to hear, feel what he wanted to feel. His filters were doing what filters do. He made up this story about what had transpired, based upon the power of all of his own filters, which created a unique perception of reality.

“What I see ... and what I say about what I see ... actually says more about ME than what I see” — Christopher Cowan

Getting Out of Your Own Way — Insight into Action

✅ Begin by noticing your many preconceptions… your stories and stop blindly accepting them as fact.

✅ Nothing means anything except the meaning you give it, so begin asking yourself: “What else can this mean?”

✅ Begin experiencing things from different perspectives. Change your physical, mental, emotional and ideological perspectives and then notice the change in what you perceive.

✅ Stop painting everyone with the same brush. Those generalizations are doing more harm than good.

And… maintain the awareness that you, your family members, your team and your customers are ALL watching different movies… creating a different reality than your own. Stop painting everyone with a single brush and begin to see the individual, previously hidden by the haze of your filter biases.

“Human beings are perceivers, but the world that they perceive is an illusion: an illusion created by the description that was told to them from the moment they were born.” — Carlos Castaneda